Rules for social media and life in general:
I haven't written in quite a long time, and even while I sit here, I'm not sure how to start exactly. Several things have happened in my life, but this isn't necessarily a blog about 'my life' so much as it is a blog about what I think. Sometimes, that happens to be about me, but very often, it's about the world I see spinning around me. Anyone who knows me would tell you that I am rarely short on opinions and thoughts, so here I go again.
I am an user and even a fan, you could say, of Facebook. I am as guilty of stalking people I went to Junior High with and exes and exes of exes as the next person, and I make no apologies for it. By and large, as long as it doesn't take up a disruptive amount of your time and it doesn't actually lead to any stupid behavior, I think it's basically harmless. I say this to let you all know that I am NOT a Facebook hater. This isn't a tirade against social media. (I also have a twitter, which for the most part, I enjoy). I don't think that it's necessarily a perfect, wonderful thing all the time either, but you get the gist.
However, lately, there have been several things I have seen on Facebook/Twitter/Social media and in my actual life (yes, I differentiate between Facebook and real life) that have basically made me want to scream at people. If I have a complaint about the whole process of 'posts' it is this- seemingly intelligent, kind, and responsible people post the most asinine CRAP with an apparent total disregard for how it makes other people view them. The other trend I have noticed is people who are simply in denial about their lifestyle and choices and choose to post Mumford and Sons lyrics and passive aggressive, not so-subtle comments about how their love live/job/ general happiness level just isn't meeting their expectations.
While I can understand how many people might think that a blog post like this is just as passive aggressive as anything on Facebook, I prefer to think of it as doling out the common sense I want to dispense while allowing the people I love but want to punch sometimes to remain anonymous. That being said- I intend to respond to some of the things I've been witnessing. Keep in mind that this really is for your own good.
I tend to think better in bullet points sometimes, so here goes:
1. First, to the vegans, the weight loss successes and failures, and all those people who are apparently consumed with what they consume: NO ONE CARES. I don't care if you ran two miles on your weirdo app that tracks you better than J. Edgar Hoover (which, quite frankly, I find creepy and a little dangerous). I also don't care that you think broccoli juice is just the best! Or that your new pineapple diet is working so well- and honestly, neither does anyone else. There are fitness blogs and forums where those like you gather to talk and tip and congratulate and encourage each other. I am so glad we have these places on the internet, but Facebook really isn't one of them...
2. To the home improvers (some of you are also in group 1)- if you totally redo your kitchen and want to post before and after photos of it and celebrate- awesome! That's great. That's the kind of stuff people love on Facebook. Well, at least, that's the kind of stuff I like to keep up on. Posting a picture of every stage of your kitchen renovation and 800 status updates about how your contractor never gives discounts but you just know he'll give in to you, however, is freaking obnoxious, and it's hogging up my feed. Short, to the point, and important. These are all things to keep in mind when posting on social media (except for those wonderful subject specific forums I mentioned for group one. There are lots of blogs for home improvement, too! And you could even write your own!). Also, rearranging a desk drawer or a night stand or the bottom of your closet isn't a 'renovation project' and chances are, you post too many pictures about these things and no one cares about them, either.
3. To the 'nice guys' bitching about how girls only like assholes, you're such a supportive wonderful catch, blah blah blah blah! First of all, I'd rather give myself a lobotomy with a rusty spoon than have to read one more line about how girls only like assholes. It's just not true. Admittedly, there are a lot of girls, myself included, who have dated and been enthralled for a time by a walking sphincter. We're not perfect, and we make mistakes. Whoop-de-freaking-doo! So do you, 'NICE GUY'. Dating an asshole doesn't mean you like assholes, it means you liked something about that particular one. Let's grow up and see things in the shades of grey they really are, ok?? Sometimes, yes, we're shallow and we just think they're cute. But breast implants. Enough said. Most women do not, in fact, STAY with assholes if they really are that bad. We might date them for a time, but we usually figure it out and move on. Also, just because YOU think he's an asshole doesn't mean he IS, in fact, an asshole. We don't like everyone we meet, and just because this girl at work wears pencil skirts and you get wood doesn't mean her boyfriend is a jerk. It could, however, mean you ARE! I have news for all the so-called 'nice guys' out there who think that women are all heartless bitches. Being nice to a girl does NOT obligate her to be sexually attracted to you. And even if people are wonderful and self-less, we deserve to be with a partner we are attracted to! Everyone does! And if you are only being nice on the pretense that a girl will date you, you're NOT actually nice. You're actually a way bigger sleaze-ball than your average tap-out shirt wearing meat head at the club who asks a girl if she'd be into a threesome. At least THAT guy is up front about what he's looking for. Also, if you started dressing/grooming like a god-damned adult instead of a pre-pubescent dungeons and dragons wizard (or whatever you guys call yourself) and started taking care of yourself and got a credit rating, things would change. But no, it must be all those cold-hearted bitches out there who don't appreciate the finer points of patchy neck stubble and halo...
4. On the other side of same token: I deal with self-esteem issues like everyone else, and I have good days and bad days. But I have been blessed with the knowledge that quite frankly, I'm funny, smart, motivated, caring, emotionally engaged in my life, and have a pretty rockin' bod. Sometimes that last one is harder to believe than other times, but at the end of the day, things could be MUCH worse. And the longer I'm with my boyfriend who LOVES me and genuinely thinks my body is beautiful and amazing, the more I realize that all those guys who came before are freaking missing out! There are a million reasons why relationships don't work out, and sometimes I have been the one to call it off. I have also made what I would consider serious mistakes in relationships. But at the end of the day, when I look back on it all, I realize that nothing happens in a vacuum, and those relationships ended because for one reason or another, I wasn't made to feel important or valued by the people I was with. The point of all of this is to say that there are a couple of you out there who show up on my feed who had a legitimate shot with me. Some of you I've even slept with. I know this isn't maybe a popular thing to admit to, but I want the gravity of this to really sink in. You had someone who will work harder than most people I know to make you happy literally in your grasp with the added bonus of sir mix a lot booty, and you let it slip away. You know who you are. So, I'm sorry I'm not sorry for you and your life now because some other girl who you probably ALSO didn't appreciate didn't work out, but honestly, STFU.
5. Okay, so maybe it's a three sided coin- don't judge me and my faulty geometry. One more note about the men on Facebook. When I know from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE (see #3 and #4) that you like to think you're a good guy and whatever, and how you're OH SO honest about what you want, well, news flash: You're kind of a dick. If you say one thing and then act another way, it's going to be confusing. If you think 'very clear' about not wanting a relationship, but the girl is posting a million pictures of the two of you on Facebook in matching outfits and cute little outings, she's CLEARLY head over heels in love with you. I haven't even met the poor thing and I can tell. And if I can tell, so can everyone else. All of you, you know who you are, too! Lie to yourself all you want, but bitch has crazy eyes. I may have wanted to show up at your apartment screaming and drunk at 3 am, but I managed to control myself. This girl, however? Wouldn't bet on it. Crazy eyes, man. Crazy eyes.
6. Passive aggressive comments about your family/in-laws/neighbors/roommates/ whatever. We all know who you're talking about, and so does anyone else searching your Facebook. Like a current or prospective employer. Or, you know, a custody-hearing judge (Yeah, yeah, yeah. Should've seen the giant red flags. I GET IT already). Just sayin...
All this is to say, let's be careful about the things that we post online. Your mom may not know how 'the google' works exactly, but she was right when she told you that once this stuff gets posted, it's not coming down. You can't ever REALLY get it back. I say these things know that I can't ever run for public office... Take it from someone who knows what they are talking about. And really, Facebook is a place for keeping up with what's in people's lives GENERALLY and sharing a little bit about yours. But posting so many pictures of your new apartment that any one could draw a complete and accurate layout is probably not only ANNOYING, but DANGEROUS. People be crazy, and no one ever thinks that the psycho stalker killer is going to like them, but they always pick someone, don't they? Guard your lives a little better, and quit pissing of the people who ALREADY know and like you enough to add you on Facebook.
